V noci se pl\u00ed\u017e\u00ed\u0161 ve st\u011bn\u00e1ch m\u00e9ho bytu. Dlouh\u00e9 dr\u00e1py ryj\u00ed do om\u00edtky a ta sku\u010d\u00ed stra\u0161n\u00fdm sk\u0159\u00edp\u011bn\u00edm, kter\u00e9 nesly\u0161\u00ed nikdo, jen j\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obch\u00e1z\u00ed\u0161 kolem m\u011b a \u010dek\u00e1\u0161, a\u017e se probud\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
P\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed r\u00e1no a j\u00e1 se neprobouz\u00edm. Netrp\u011bliv\u011b odlamuje\u0161 kusy om\u00edtky a ta ti ulp\u00edv\u00e1 za nehty. Zni\u010d\u00ed\u0161 si je a bude to moje vina. Jak jinak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
P\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed poledne a j\u00e1 st\u00e1le sp\u00edm. Nebo to alespo\u0148 p\u0159ed tebou i p\u0159ed sebou p\u0159edst\u00edr\u00e1m. Boj\u00edm se otev\u0159\u00edt o\u010di, proto\u017ee v\u00edm, co p\u0159ijde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ty \u010dern\u00e9 d\u00edry m\u00edsto o\u010d\u00ed. Ty vycen\u011bn\u00e9 zuby v roz\u0161kleben\u00e9 tv\u00e1\u0159i beze rt\u016f. Ty propadl\u00e9 l\u00edcn\u00ed kosti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Je poledne. Rozlep\u00edm o\u010di a tv\u00e1 \u0161edav\u00e1 lebka bez o\u010d\u00ed a beze rt\u016f je t\u011bsn\u011b u m\u00e9 tv\u00e1\u0159e. I bez o\u010d\u00ed m\u011b probod\u00e1v\u00e1\u0161 zl\u00fdm pohledem. I beze rt\u016f a bez jazyku m\u011b \u010dastuje\u0161 jedovat\u00fdmi slovy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u00e1m strach. Ned\u00fdch\u00e1m. P\u0159edst\u00edr\u00e1m, \u017ee jsem mrtv\u00e1. Chci b\u00fdt mrtv\u00e1. Boj\u00edm se, \u017ee kdy\u017e se nadechnu, p\u0159istihne\u0161 m\u011b p\u0159i \u017eivot\u011b a za to m\u011b stihne krut\u00fd trest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kostnat\u00e9 prsty obto\u010d\u00ed\u0161 kolem m\u00e9ho krku. Hrdlo se st\u00e1hne. Napo\u010d\u00edt\u00e1m do deseti. Je\u0161t\u011b aspo\u0148 deset vte\u0159in b\u00fdt mrtv\u00e1. Pros\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A pak se nadechnu. \u010cern\u00e9 d\u00edry se rozt\u00e1hnou do v\u0161e pohlcuj\u00edc\u00edch hlubin a roz\u0161kleben\u00e9 \u010delisti se rozev\u0159ou v hysterick\u00e9m sm\u00edchu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
S n\u00e1dechem mi jako jedovat\u00e1 \u017elu\u010d vklouzne\u0161 do plic. Nen\u00ed cesty zp\u011bt. Je nov\u00fd den. O\u010di m\u00e1m otev\u0159en\u00e9 a mus\u00edm d\u00fdchat. A ty se mi v plic\u00edch usad\u00ed\u0161 jako \u010derno\u010dern\u00fd sklen\u011bn\u00fd st\u0159ep. S ka\u017ed\u00fdm dechem mnou projede ostr\u00e1 bolest. A tak tomu bude cel\u00fd den.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jsem zvykl\u00e1. Takhle to m\u00e1 b\u00fdt. Jestli chci \u017e\u00edt, tak to mus\u00ed bolet. To jsi mi \u0159ekla. \u017de nic ne\u017e bolest a trest si nezaslou\u017e\u00edm. \u017de m\u011b nikdo nem\u00e1 r\u00e1d a nikdo nechce. \u017de m\u011b v\u0161ichni odlo\u017eili a opustili, proto\u017ee jsem \u0161patn\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Proto mus\u00edm pykat. A tak pyk\u00e1m. Pyk\u00e1m, kdy\u017e m\u011b kostnat\u00fdma rukama popadne\u0161 za k\u0161tici a vl\u00e1\u010d\u00ed\u0161 zapr\u00e1\u0161en\u00fdm bytem. Pyk\u00e1m, kdy\u017e le\u017e\u00edm na podlaze, ty stoj\u00ed\u0161 nade mnou a v prstech \u017emoul\u00e1\u0161 chom\u00e1\u010d vytr\u017een\u00fdch vlas\u016f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pyk\u00e1m ti\u0161e. Proto\u017ee za pl\u00e1\u010d je kopanec. Proto nepl\u00e1\u010du.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pyk\u00e1m ti\u0161e. Proto\u017ee za k\u0159ik je va\u0159e\u010dka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Proto nek\u0159i\u010d\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pyk\u00e1m ti\u0161e. A to t\u011b je\u0161t\u011b v\u00edc rozl\u00edt\u00ed. Snad si mysl\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee m\u011b to nebol\u00ed a dostala jsem je\u0161t\u011b m\u00e1lo, kdy\u017e nevyd\u00e1m jedin\u00fd vzdech.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A tak m\u011b chytne\u0161 za loket a prudce natla\u010d\u00ed\u0161 nad vanu. Nohy mi zaklekne\u0161. Silou se o m\u011b op\u0159e\u0161 a\u017e mi \u017eebra sk\u0159\u00edpou pod tlakem o hranu vanu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Proud ledov\u00e9 vody se rozeh\u0159m\u00ed. Bu\u0161\u00ed do okraj\u016f vany. Bu\u0161\u00ed do temene m\u00e9 hlavy. Je\u0161t\u011b zaslechnu zacink\u00e1n\u00ed \u0161puntu na \u0159et\u00edzku a p\u00e1r nesrozumiteln\u00fdch nad\u00e1vek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pak se v\u0161echno uti\u0161\u00ed. V\u0161echno potemn\u00ed. Ve sp\u00e1nc\u00edch mi bu\u0161\u00ed, v \u017eebrech sk\u0159\u00edpe. Posledn\u00ed my\u0161lenka, kter\u00e1 mi v kakofonii cimb\u00e1lovky v hlav\u011b prob\u011bhne je: \u201cPro\u010d? Co jsem provedla?\u201d Sama si je\u0161t\u011b odpov\u00edm, i kdy\u017e v\u00edm, \u017ee ten hlas nen\u00ed m\u016fj: \u201cProto\u017ee \u017eije\u0161\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pyk\u00e1m ti\u0161e. Le\u017e\u00edm prom\u00e1\u010den\u00e1 a promrzl\u00e1 na zemi koupelny. Kachli\u010dky m\u011b stud\u00ed a mn\u011b to d\u011bl\u00e1 podivnou radost. Nejsp\u00ed\u0161 jsem r\u00e1da, \u017ee vlastn\u011b v\u016fbec n\u011bco c\u00edt\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pyk\u00e1m ti\u0161e. I dnes se n\u011bkdy op\u0159u nah\u00fdm t\u011blem o ledovou ze\u010f koupelny. To ve chv\u00edl\u00edch, kdy si se sebou nev\u00edm rady. Zvr\u00e1cen\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem m\u011b to uklidn\u00ed a p\u0159ipomene, \u017ee \u017eiju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pyk\u00e1m ti\u0161e. I dnes se ve\u010der co ve\u010der boj\u00edm zd\u00ed ve vlastn\u00edm byt\u011b. Boj\u00edm se, \u017ee usly\u0161\u00edm to zn\u00e1m\u00e9 \u0161kr\u00e1b\u00e1n\u00ed neht\u016f o om\u00edtku. Boj\u00edm se, \u017ee na m\u011b v temn\u00fdch roz\u00edch a puklin\u00e1ch zd\u00ed \u010d\u00edh\u00e1\u0161. \u017de \u010dek\u00e1\u0161 na ten moment, kdy si ned\u00e1m pozor a nadechnu se.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pyk\u00e1m ti\u0161e. I dnes m\u00e1m r\u00e1no co r\u00e1no strach se probudit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
V noci se pl\u00ed\u017e\u00ed\u0161 ve st\u011bn\u00e1ch m\u00e9ho bytu. Dlouh\u00e9 dr\u00e1py ryj\u00ed do om\u00edtky a ta sku\u010d\u00ed stra\u0161n\u00fdm sk\u0159\u00edp\u011bn\u00edm, kter\u00e9 nesly\u0161\u00ed nikdo, jen j\u00e1. Obch\u00e1z\u00ed\u0161 kolem m\u011b a \u010dek\u00e1\u0161, a\u017e se probud\u00edm. P\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed r\u00e1no a j\u00e1 se neprobouz\u00edm. Netrp\u011bliv\u011b odlamuje\u0161 kusy om\u00edtky a ta ti ulp\u00edv\u00e1 za nehty. Zni\u010d\u00ed\u0161 si je a bude to moje vina. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/904","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=904"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/904\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":971,"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/904\/revisions\/971"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=904"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=904"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.petradavidkova.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=904"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}